Not tonight, either. I am a little le bored with the whole 365 Days of Music thing, to be honest. It’s not the recent lack of feedback (though I suspect the preponderance of boy-noise is an issue, and where are you, Steve??) as much as it is the tiresome task of scanning all the different CD covers and then uploading them to Flickr and then sitting here listening to the record, all the while being assaulted by a bunch of feelings when I really should be hanging with my kids and my husband or reading a book or plotting the rest of my garden or washing the dishes or sitting on the couch, doing sweet NOTHING. I am just not the kind of person who can commit to doing something every day that is relatively superfluous to the off-blog day-to-day life that I lead. I mean, I can barely do the stuff I’m supposed to be doing sometimes. I will review more records, though. Eventually. In other news, Ed With the Breakaway Head is providing me and my friend P with some weight training at the gym. We hung out in the seriously-testosteroned free-weight area and everything today. I am a total weakling - like I told Jim, I’ve turned into a person with a desk job with a body to match. Sore does not even begin to describe how I’m going to feel in the morning; I wish I could get more sleep. I’m very much looking forward to when my work schedule switches to Tuesday-Saturday, though. Mondays off, people. For 7 months. My new local pal The Sandwich Life tagged me for that book meme, the one where you ask 5 of your pals to tell you what’s on page 123 - the three sentences after the 5th sentence. I don’t read much fiction, so you’ll be getting a selection from the wonderful (truly!) Kitchen Literacy by Ann Vileisis: “Pettijohn’s claimed that, unlike other ready-to-eat ‘fad foods’, its cereal, was genuine, humble ‘whole wheat not altered in an attempt to improve on nature.’ Shredded Wheat ads plainly asserted in large boldface capitals: ‘MAN CANNOT IMPROVE NATURE.’” “Transcending mere pleasantries, a dialogue about the grand existential question so pressing in the face of rapidly urbanizing culture - what was the place of people in nature? - occurred in so mundane a venue as newspaper food ads.” I know what you’re thinking, and you’re not wrong, but I love it so! Finally, an old high school friend of mine got in touch last night, praise Facebook. Among the pleasantries tossed my way was a link to a series of articles about the son of a pair of friends from high school. It made me feel feelings about my high school experience and my friendship with the female half of this union and gifted children and kids leaving home to pursue excellence and the opportunities available to kids whose parents have money and live in the suburbs and how maybe those opportunities are slipping away even from those folks and then, even, a little bit of pride in this child - he’s 16 - that I met one time when he was seven-going-on-eight and his father was the hockey player in the family.

Cody has a Flickr Pro account now. If you’d like to see his work, go here. I think he’s got some really stunning stuff. He took the image above a few days ago in Chicago.



I was telling J the Yogini tonight that January is shaping up to be full of situations. There’s something I feel badly about, there’s my heavy work load at the office, there are some big ups and downs and potential changes is on the horizon. Say what you will about the New Year bringing change and how great that is - I agree, I do - but all at once? It seems like this happens every year in January, this bunching up of situations, but every year I’m surprised by it anew.



This is how I survive Januaries, or at least this one: I just put my shoulder to the wheel, get to the gym every morning, get as much done at work, and be as present at home as I possibly can. January is for getting through.

Bad blogger, me. I’m around, just with many plates in the air at the mo. As I’m sure are most of you.


A few things of note, for those who still read:


I joined a gym. I know, I know - what’s the big deal? Lots of people do. Well, lots of people get their hair cut and colored by licensed professionals, pedicures and Brazilians by same, hire cleaning services, etc - and I do/get none of those. Not to dis those who do, understand - there are just things I never thought I’d do, and joining a gym is just one of those things. So - why’d I join?



I joined because a) I desperately need to get exercise, b) it’s too cold for me to exercise outside, c) I need to use equipment that will not fit into my tiny little house (or my tiny little budget) and d) I seem to develop discipline in response to ongoing expenditures - if something’s going to cost me money every month, damn straight I’m going to get my money’s worth (did you know that only 6% of people having gym memberships actually use them? That’s what Joe Fitness Man told me when I signed up).



Oh, this is boring - the upshot is, I joined a gym and now arise at a ridiculously early hour to pay someone to let me make close friends with the treadmill (and soon, elliptical) whilst watching bad local news. Goals include properly-fitting clothing and not going batshit crazy this winter.



[wasn’t one of my New Year’s Resolutions to get a pedicure?]



And another thing. This Led Zeppelin reunion show that happened in London the other night - I’m disturbed about it. Disturbed that I didn’t get to go - absurd, I know. I don’t really know what else to say about it except that the footage I’ve seen (O, YouTube, what did we ever do without you, except that you keep taking these videos down?) is fantastic and classy and - god. I don’t know. They made the Stones, who are on perma-tour, look shameful. I hope the rumor’s true and Zep is playing Bonnaroo; though I highly doubt it, a girl can dream.



[My favorite quote from the New York Times piece linked to above: Unlike Mick Jagger, Mr. Plant — the youngest of the original members, at 59 — doesn’t walk and gesture like an excited woman anymore].



I grew up on Led Zeppelin - their music was part of the soundtrack to my childhood (not as much at home as all around me), I went through a heavy, heavy Zeppelin phase in college, and I’ve heard their influence threading through many, many indie bands. Ask ANY drummer about John Bonham, you know?



That’s enough ranting for the time being. If it seems like I’ve made myself scarce, it’s just that I’m answering the siren songs of holiday baking… and the treadmill.

I’m trying to get back into blogging without it being so… bloggy. You know what I mean? I know, I know. I’ve said that how many times since, well, my first and favorite old blog (Madame Insane, for those who’ve been around for a long time) bit the dust in, what, late 2004? Seriously, though - recently I’ve had several thought-provoking IM chats (I know - what are the odds?) with a couple brainy, inspiring broads (plus Amanda!). I’ve received old-fashioned US Mail from some seriously interesting women who make me feel all kinds of feelings - mostly the kind of feelings you feel when you hear from someone who’s known you best over distance and time. They’ve all reminded me that I write - even though I haven’t written well for awhile - without being overbearing or pushy in any way. I mean, even my mother doesn’t act like my mother any more - I should probably lose the chip on my shoulder, eh? I also went back to the saved archives I have from Madame Insane and I realized how much I’ve changed since that one launched in 2002. Clearly, writing on a regular basis at a “place” whose design I loved was good for me; the blogs that followed (MizUntitled and this one) never felt (or feel) right to me and weren’t (or aren’t) posted to nearly as often. Maybe it’s the Wordpress interface. Maybe it’s my total lack of design skills and color sense. Should either of those things matter? No. Neither should the pens I prefer to write with when at work or writing analog-style in my journal. But they do, they matter. Even though they’re distractions from matters at hand, they do matter. I turned 39 a few weeks ago and find myself at many, many crossroads - mental, physical, personal, professional… … and I feel that it’s time to incorporate some new keywords into the ol’ existence. Like discernment and focus and truth and momentum and breath and forgiveness. And principles - principles like count to ten before jumping all over The Teenager ™ and old habits die hard, but often it’s best to let them die and what you put out there comes back to you threefold and if it’s not working, do something else and less is more and fresh is best and maintenance, maintenance, maintenance. I’m coming off a month of terribly stressful work and other stuff, and while sitting around eating Halloween candy and opening the mental front door to give Despair the time of day is kind of appealing, I know it’s a recipe for disaster. Ergo, NO SOLICITORS. ****** In other news, Lilly turned 9 yesterday. She’s my youngest child - my baby - and she is a spectacular human being: Also, three years ago yesterday - on Election Day, no less - I put down the cigarettes for good. While I know it’s for my health and what about the children? and it’s a nasty, gross, and goddamn expensive habit were all rationales for quitting, here’s what pushed me over: Big Tobacco wants me to consume their products, possibly forcing me to use its buddy, Big Pharma, to stay alive someday. Pretty good racket, eh? No, thanks. Sally forth and conquer.

Photo by Cody. See more of his work here. I realized this morning that I’ve been blogging in some way since February 2002. There was the ill-fated Jennie Bomb, followed by Madame Insane (which lasted for about 2 years, the longest I’ve been in any one virtual place); Miz Untitled, which I never really got into, came after that. I love the idea of blogs, of having one and reading them, but damn. It’s really hard to get your mojo going when you work outside the home full-time and personal blogging isn’t part of your job description. I’m not making excuses so much as musing about how I can lose interest in what I thought was going to be my sustaining art form - writing - so easily. It’s like a yo-yo diet; I’ll get dedicated, and then I’ll slack. Then I’ll get dedicated… and then I’ll slack. Dedicated. Slack. Dedicated. Slack. You get the picture. Five years, though. You can see old permutations of websites by using the Wayback Machine, so I looked mine up. What’s interesting to me is how few of my favorite sites from my early blogging days still exist - many, many dead links. For example… …Fuck Corporate Groceries was totally fucking great. I met its writer, Jes, once here in town when she was visiting friends who go to school at the University of Illinois. She was delightful. She seemed so young and energetic and well-traveled and it was one of the first times in my 30s where I realized, good god, I’m not really a spring chicken any longer, am I? I wonder what she’s doing now. And Minjarrah, whose blogs came and went faster than my own - where is she? She sent me several delightful packages in the mail over the years but moved around so much I never got to return the favor. It sounds so when I was your age of me, but the blogosphere has gotten so huge and everyone is so specialized and theme-oriented. Foodbloggery. Mommybloggery. Craftbloggery. Musicbloggery. Everyone’s an expert on something; some folks on what seems like everything. People are such amazing, capable, talented creatures! I’m intimidated. I feel like I should at least read more. I’m such a dabbler. I excel at Dabbloggery. ***** In mid-February, our household split for warmer climes; we’d just come off a huge snowstorm (twenty years ago, a foot of snow in the midwest meant basically nothing; these days? After 5 years of no real snow to speak of, here’s what happens: College campuses close for two days. Young people who have never had to drive in snow before are forced to do so and often find out the hard way that driving in conditions is SPECIAL. I mangle my back shoveling our 75′ driveway as a surprise for my spouse on Valentine’s Day. [Cody helped me, but still. It was 14 inches of snow.]) and we were ready to get the hell out of Illinois. It was beautiful every damn day we were in Florida, and it was especially beautiful at night: I won’t try to write much about how excellent it was. It just was. Yeah, OK, it was excellent, and the sun was out and we could have our skin out and breathe and wear flip flops. It was enough time away for me to get some perspective on everything, which was good because I came back to a big-ass work snafu. All is well now. Thank you, Perspective. ***** My seed order arrived, and a few days later, the box Kelly had sent arrived, full of bean, vegetable and herb seeds. My trays are loaded up wth seed starter mix - Lilly and I will plant tomorrow night, Jim will get the lights rigged and we’re on our way to many tomato, pepper, and herb seedlings. The snow’s melted in the backyard and it felt so excellent today to be back there under a big blue sky, hearing birdsong where two weeks ago there had been none, looking at the sorry state of the beds and vowing to do better by them this year. ***** These days: - Jim cooks dinner most nights. I am uninspired for reasons that I will explore later; besides, he’s a good cook and is willing to make separate meals for the Picky Eater as well as The Vegetarian. I am not. - I’m knitting odd-sized squares out of scrap wool, with an eye on felting/fulling them and making a blanket. - I already talked about the seeds. OK. - I’m in grant proposal mode at work. - I’m not eating enough vegetables. - I’m also not getting enough exercise. Hopefully both will change with the New! Improved! weather. Currently: - I’m grateful the laundry’s mostly done.

I think this is a fine - and especially appropriate - sentiment to hold with me as I carry on through the 2007 calendar year. What about you? Is there one overriding goal or theme for you this year? I’m not talking about resolutions… just more about a general tone. Anyway, the artist is Genvieve Gauckler, whose work I discovered when I chanced upon this blog, which I found when I was doing my daily check-in with the Moleskine folks. I’ve already been to Japan and Australia and who knows where else, and I’m still in my jammies. I haven’t even had my coffee yet. ***** It’s Friday. I love Fridays. Work is generally low-key (today should be interesting; we’re having a new server installed and won’t have access to our network or our machines all day) and there’s no better feeling, for me, than coming home knowing I have a couple of days stretching out in front of me. Of course, I tend to waste a fair amount of time on those days, but still! That Friday vibe of I’ll get home, I’ll throw together a decent dinner, we’ll open a new bottle of wine, no one has to get up early tomorrow so we can stay up etc - nothing could be finer. I leave you with a photo of one of my “inspiration” boards at work - it’s less about getting inspired and more about remembering why I’m doing what I’m doing, what it means, and how I got there: Happy Weekend!

Yesterday I was feeling pretty dang good, considering we’d spent New Year’s Eve eating Chinese takeout, playing Scrabble, and drinking sparkling cider as opposed to killing a couple bottles of wine and eating flourless chocolate torte (which might have been what transpired had we not all been battling this incredibly resilient virus). I was very productive in the Food Preparation Department: I made turkey stock (and turkey noodle soup from part of that stock) from the 30th’s roast pastured turkey. I made muffins from Moosewood Restaurant Cooks at Home, using some neglected, spotty bananas that’d gotten lost in the holiday shuffle. And I made bread - you know, the staff of life and all. When I buy bread, I buy whole wheat bread; when I make it, I’ll occasionally make wheat, but the family clamors for the homemade white bread from The More-With-Less Cookbook, my standard recipe for many years. [The cookbook was a staple in my mother’s kitchen when I was growing up, and it’s a true classic - frugal without austerity, simple without boredom.] I highly recommend baking bread entirely by hand - you get some exercise and a little meditation, and the end result is divine.

I don’t usually advertise anything on my blog - not because I have anything against advertising, per se, but because ads can look cluttery and confusing and thus detract from the content (and occasionally make it difficult to even find the content!) - but through the end of this month I’ll be “advertising” the Eastern Illinois Foodbank in the sidebar. No pressure or anything - and actually, you can create your own badges for the charity(ies) of your choice at Yahoo For Good, who’re working with Network For Good to raise money for good causes through the end of 2006.

After much lamenting this morning about the loss of my dear old Sony Cybershot 2.1 Megapixel camera (yes - it was 4 years old, which is an eternity for a digital camera that endured the abuse it endured), Jim confessed to knowing about a Super Sale happening at a large store in the area. At first I refused to go - the sale had begun at 6, which to me meant all cameras would be gone by 6:30 - but in the end I decided to head out, just in case. Besides, Jim had been a little stumped regarding at least part of a holiday gift for me, so I figured I could help him out. Meet my Kodak EasyShare:    Not bad. And at the price I got it for, I should have purchased two… … but I’m not going back to Hell (what we call the Big Box Store area of town) today. Here’s a list, for you listy types:

1. Fill bird feeders
2. Kids’ rooms need cleaning
3. Clean kitchen
4. Vaccuum every room in the house thanks to the 4 cats
5. Another batch of cinnamon rolls
6. Cookies - cinnamon sugar cutouts (I have a thing for cinnamon right now) and some freezer dough
7. Unearth something for dinner from the chest freezer
8. Play with my new toy
9. Wrap a couple presents
10. Do more stuff to this website

Stay tuned for more photos. I suspect #8 will get more play than just about anything.

I recently decided that re-commitment to eating well (in my case, that means bringing my lunch to work every day and avoiding processed food and making more of an effort to cook dinner after work [which recently has fallen to Jim, which is a good thing, except that his repertoire is a bit limited]) and exercising every day are going to be the main way to manage my creaky & cranky frame.The apparatus above is what’s called a fluid trainer - it’s a fancy version of a bike mount. I decided I don’t want to join a gym and I don’t want to exercise outdoors in winter, so a fluid trainer and Pilates DVDs it is. Right? OK. I can do this. Sure, it’s been months and months since I’ve done anything remotely resembling “regular exercise”, but I’m still in what could be called “reasonable” shape. Right? Ed and Jim set it up last night, so when they were done and I was safely alone, I set the iTunes to the Stooges and hopped on. People, that thing kicked my ass! I rode for 26 minutes and broke a sweat in the chilly B-K basement (aka The Garden Apartment) and when I (gracelessly) alighted from the bike, my legs felt like they each weighed several hundred pounds. I have a ways to go. It’s the start of a beautiful relationship, I reckon.